Travel...

Hi everyone.

I was suppose to go to Belarus with Hockey Canada's Under 18 National Mens team but I couldn't make the trip. Hockey Canada decided in February that it was to risky to send me to an east bloc country because of my surgery. Given all the challenges with travel the last couple weeks in Europe, I am glad I didn't go but at the same time, I always had questions as to why I was not allowed to. I think I have found the reason and now understand the rationale behind the decision.

The biggest reason for not letting me go was that if there was trouble with the implants, it would cost to much to get to a country or back to Canada that had a health system modern enough to help me and the insurance companies would not provide insurance to cover travel costs for that same reason. I was never bitter about the decision but it troubled me because I had never had any of the problems that they were trying to avoid. Airport security personnel had never forced me through a metal detector, which could be deadly and I had never had problems like seizures or black outs. Because I haven't been feeling the greatest and because I am trying to get my voice fixed, I have spent a lot of time on the internet researching Deep Brain Stimulation. What I have found doesn't scare me but it has certainly opened my eyes.

The bottom line is that regardless how good and reliable the technology is, what I have in my head is mechanical and therefore can and will break down. I found countless articles and blogs of and about people who had experienced break downs in either the implants or the pulse generators, some as many as three years after their surgery. One particular article talked about being problem free for three years and all of a sudden one day the wheels fell off. Electrical surges and seizures were all that person felt until the problem could be fixed. One comforting fact is that the technology and reliability is improving but it will be important to stay on top of these changes.

What does all of this have to do with travel and going to Belarus? When I was told I couldn't go to Belarus because of the implants and the potential problems I could encounter, I was very disappointed but in hind sight, it was a very wise decision made by wise people. I am not out of the woods yet by any means and only travelling in Canada for the next while is the right thing to do.

Talk to you again soon.

Its Spring...

Hi there everyone.

Well, its spring and I wish I had something new to talk to you about but it is more of the same old same old. My symptoms are actually getting worse, which is to be expected given the fact that it has been almost a year since my surgery but the implants are holding their own. The only trouble is my voice has not got any better and depending on the circumstance is probably worse. I have been back to the neuro modulation clinic in Regina a couple of times and they spend a lot of time tinkering on the settings and nothing seems to help. It is getting very frustrating but I am getting to the point that I am ready to accept my lot in life and move on.

Connie and I attended the funeral of the wife of a hockey friend in Manitoba a while ago and met someone who is in the same boat I am. He had the surgery a few years ago and fought many of the same battles I am. He suggested I go see the Doctors at the Winnipeg Movement Disorder clinic as he felt they could help. Going to see a doctor in a different province than the one you live in can be a challenge at times but I think it is time to try something else or else, like I said earlier, accept things as they are.

It becomes very easy to shrink back into your own world and purposefully avoid people because you can"t communicate with them but that is not the right thing to do. The one nice thing about communicating with people in the world of texting, emails and facebook is that you can type, you don"t need to talk. That is not right either but in my situation it might be the one avenue I have left. I am tired of going into the local coffee shop and not have people sit with you because they can't understand what you are trying to say but at the same time, would I be any different? I like to think that I look at the world differently now and I am probably just more sensitive to how people behave because I am the one who feels hard done by. My how times and circumstances change.

On a bit of a side note, if you are looking for some interesting reading sometime, Google the words "Mirapex side effects". I was on this drug for seven years and went off of it in March of 2009. The reasons why would fill another blog so I wont go into it right now. It is just one more challenge I have faced in life. I have joined a class action law suit that has been filed against the drug company that makes Mirapex. I will try and keep you posted on that as well.

I know I haven"t updated this blog as often as I should but I will try and be more diligent. Typing may very soon be all I have left.