Perceptions..

People ask me often how I am feeling and I think it is just that I don't go out much anymore and they don't see me as often as they used to. I always struggle with what an appropriate response should be because I should be feeling better than I am but I am not. I want to be honest but at the same time, not be negative. If you constantly answer that you are feeling lousy, people will soon tune you out and you cant blame people for that.

So how am I feeling? Honestly, not the best. I am trying to find that delicate balance between my meds and he implants and it is turning into a real struggle. It could be easy, crank up the implants. lose my voice completely and go on my merry way. The problem is that your body needs a certain amount of dopamine in the system or your body will rebel. My brain isn't producing any, hence the Parkinsons, so I need to take some medication regardless. If I take to much, I get very bad dyskenesia . That is the involuntary muscle movement you see whenever Michael J. Fox is on TV.

That is the elusive balance that I am trying to find and with 29,000 possible different settings, it could take awhile.

So if you ask me how I am feeling, don't be surprised if my answer i s a little evasive. It will take some time.